*dude puts his mouth around his bros dick* bro, im not actually gay unless i suck it. i never sucked it. its a metaphor, see: you put the dick right between your teeth, but you dont blow it. a metaphor bro
Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.
lifes too short to pretend to hate pop music
i wish that there were more hours in a day and boys were nice and bread didnt make you fat
If the point of the Big Bang Theory was to show that male nerds can be just as sexist as male jocks then well done I guess
If you don’t strategically eat your food so that the last bites to go in your mouth are the tastiest look at your choices